he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
