i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
