It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
