I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
