maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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