tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Fuck appropriateness.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
