we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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