Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
