That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
