Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
