I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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