i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
