She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
