Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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