All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
