I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
