What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
