Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
