you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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