This is not my ceiling
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
