Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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