I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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