the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
