This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
