i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
