It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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