highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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