so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
