I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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