my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
