I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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