He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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