some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
