Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
