This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
