told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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