I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
