hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
