I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
