A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
