I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
