I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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