Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
