he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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