i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
