whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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