You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
