You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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