dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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