Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
