Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
